a new year.

so, 07----i started out much better than 06.

this time last year i was:

homeless. yes, homeless...and living out of the car & off of the couches courtesy of breeze & hyder.

i had a much needed (& deserved) cry in my final hours of 2006, but as balance would have it...i also had a smile (in that order). as i look back on 06---i recognize the subtle signs that have urged me to get off my rear & jump forward back into my own skin. for christmas my bestfriend gave me what i believe would be my final sign of my inner soul yelling out for my body...a symbol of me. tiffany & co. has a designer, Frank Gehry & a collection called Fish. nuff said. i wear my pretty silver necklace as a reminder of who i need to be...i am 2 people that need to unite as one. thank you tajsh...i'm sure your intention was not as deep as my interpretation...but i believe things come for purpose (and so do you...even if we didn't know what that purpose was intended to be at the time).

and there it is. i've been feeling like i'm this outside person...walking...talking...acting like the gya we all know...but deep down I KNOW, i am not. i am a second person...disconnected from whole self. I have felt all year long i was outside, looking in.

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in my daydreams i could see her...peering through the window wanting to be her...snuggled between a blanket & a cup of tea as she eagerly flips the pages in a book she can't put down & continues to read...wanted to be her, watching her as she walks, she runs...appreciates the air in her lungs. watching the contentment & peace in her eyes as she reaches to the heavens and embraces the sky and brings the world back around to the center...her eye, her reflection, her mudra of 1 person seeing through the boundry between two lives...touched the universe and said hello, filled her soul because she remembered & remembered who knows...looks at me and adoringly smiles. and all i can do is bury my head with her pencil i run & hide, capturing the hour, documenting the night, that power and peace i saw so brilliant & bright...as i write i stop to realize that all is perfect...for i am left because she is right.

(for those of you who don't know...i write...and this here, would be mine...written off the top of the dome...as i often do. respect my soul's words & not rip off my thoughts as your own)
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I'm fast approaching my birthday...the end of the year...also means i am nearing another end of my life cycle. in 2006 i started a 6 year. 6's are characterized by; Positive Traits: A strong sense of responsibility, artistic, a nurturing disposition, community oriented, balanced, sympathy for others, a humanitarian, unselfishness, love of home and domestic affairs, freely renders service to others... & Negative Traits: Self-righteousness, obstinacy, stubborn, dominates family and friends, meddling, egotistical and susceptible to flattery, outspoken.

(numerology for those of you who aren't following me...a fondness i developed about 7 years ago).

3/4/2007 will not only mark my 30th rotation around our great sun...but also the start of a 7 year. (7 in 2007...how fitting). The year 2007 for me means: (this was my numerology reading btw)a year for personal reflection and perfection, a year of introspection. You feel like analyzing everything you have been and are doing. You think about beauty, love, perfection, and what life is all about. You spend a good deal of time alone, getting acquainted with yourself and your new inner power. This year you gain a better understanding of your emotions and your spiritual nature. Take time out to rest, study, read, and travel, and to look at life from a different angle. Find outlets for personal creative expression. If you have psychic, spiritual, new age, or mystic interests, this is the year to pursue those studies. Quality is your standard.

i guess things happen in their time & right...and i'm thankful i have the sight to see those things in front of me that are real.

peace be, i am that numbered g.


ps...for those of you who care:

7 Positive Traits: Skilled at analysis and research, an intelligent seeker of knowledge, scientific and inventive, studious, meditating, charming personality and demeanor, love of solitude and peace, a perfectionist. 7 Negative Traits: Hidden motives and suspicions, overly reserved, arguments enjoined with silence or sarcasm, isolated, inflexible positions, overly upset by distractions.

i'm going to work on more of the positive...

And just a reminder for myself...my life path is a 4

Life Path 4 is the route of reliable and persistent working people. You have come to this life to experiment with the concepts of security, stability and success through work and merit. You will be brought to prove discipline, method and regularity all the way along this route. A life of construction and seriousness as well as that which concerns your dwelling, your profession and yourself. You will be regularly confronted with situations calling on stability and solid aptitudes which push you to develop these powers. A relatively slow progression where only perseverance and merit will be rewarded. It is probable that your life will be regular, sometimes a bit routine or dull. An existence marked with projects to make real and stable. The lesson of this life program is to learn to carry out your work with regularity and to assume responsibility but without closing yourself to the rest of the world. In a word, to become a solid value. However, it will be more necessary to count on your force of personal achievement than on a possible easy success, by some donation or other.