holiday.

currently the time is 10.22pm. today in nyc...the city enjoyed an extended weekend. rosh hashanah to yom kippur -no work holidays. high holy days in jewish tradition which teaches that during this time God will decide who will live and who will die during the coming year. becuz of this jews embark upon the serious task of repentance (called teshuvah), examining their lives and repenting for any wrong committed during the previous year. yom kippur is the day of atonement. its serious business. so serious that this big city shuts down..of course the large jewish population's influence on new york has also a lot to do with it.

last year when i came to this city, the observance of these holidays blew my mind. not the event, or the existence of jewish people here...but the indication of influence. no other place in the US (that i am aware of) does such..

so today, people who work in public schools, in particular all equally enjoy a day of rest & quiet.

im not mad at that.
and speaking of "equally"
...a week ago the world shared one of its true holidays: The Fall Equinox.
fall is the 4th and final major Sun Cycle of the year. for a lot of people it means a time of Focus and direction change in one's life. from the Equinox, the consciousness moves slowly inward as the nights lengthen and the days shorten. as mother earth does: fall marks first: her bountiful harvest and then, second: as the guide to turn inward, exactly as She does, withdrawing from the surface, for the coming winter season.

so as she does...so do i. now is the time for reflection. finding balance and looking within to what must change to assure greater success in the coming year...
ironically this week i have been looking at graduate school again. i left arizona & grad school to move here. Aug 11th marked my anniversary with my easterly home. and ironically still...on august 11th i was on a flight to phoenix from new york...the year prior on august 11th i was on a flight from phoenix---new york bound. however, my reasons for the flight were vastly different. (i suppose) but maybe not so...

last year obviously i was new york bound, to make my new home. the past year, i have paid due to this city. but then again, everyone must. however, i confess i cannot complain. my path: is a good one. a damn good one. one that takes me from one place of extreme (& emotion), to the other.

last week, like the return of fall...i returned from a 5 week trip on an ancient foreign land. to come back and reflect with the land.
in this little time, i came here: proud & high with a future (or i thought & hoped), only to have that "future" tear me down...mentally, emotionally & yes, physically.
i had to work myself back onto my feet & find my inner pride. reflect and realize what i needed. to be reminded of the true reasons i exist. that i came here. i rekindled a new strength in my spirituality. remembered my focus. with love & support by my side.
...can't take credit & say i did all the realization alone.......i didn't. of course God and the watchers are always there, in the heavens...but here on earth, i had another angel.
i have been blessed with great love. human love. one i thought never truly existed, but one that one always hopes exists. the kind of love that exists within the imagination of dreamers, expressed in songs & theatrics. indeed. this kind of love truly exists in the world.
so with my strength felt near & far, i transcend above the madness of my displacement, and i have settled into a place of familiarity & confidence.
within myself. within this city. within this earth. within her...i draw. and reflect.

so like a holiday, i observe the phenom of my life in this existence--the trip abroad...to return & reflect on what it is i have done, and what it is i will do next. with a rested mind, i begin again...

what will my next move be?
the waking earth, will see.

peace be, i am that inward g.