...some call me the gangsta of love

Thursday, May 11, 2006

2012. ya dig?

I got this from a mayan friend:

Concerning the 4. year 2012
Some readers may already be aware Don Alejandro (Wandering Wolf), along with Elizabeth visited India and met with Shri Bhagavan. From an account by Carl Calleman it seems that much good spiritual work was done bridging the two continents.
The Sun & Serpent Maya Mysteries School treads a path of Universal teaching and awareness. We have journeyed in the Mayalands with Don Alejandro and have the greatest regard for him as well as all that the Maya inheritance brings to the world. We are aware that Don Alejandro has his own awareness concerning these times of great change for humanity and that it is the work that we each need to undertake that is important for the future of humanity.
Therefore it came as some surprise to find Carl Calleman has chosen to embrace Don Alejandro's visit to India and join it to dikshas, 'Oneness Celebration and research which has led him to publicly say 'I have come to the conclusion that the fulfillment of the present creation will take place on October 28, 2011 following which a world in the state of oneness could emerge in the year 2012'

Mayan Elder Carlos Barrios e mailed in Feb 2006 as follows:-

‘A lot has been said about this time, about the prophecies given by ancient wise visionary men. Some of the prophecies have been kept on secret books, some have been transmitted in a verbal way, others have risen in a series of books, documentaries, and articles in magazines, newspapers and especially on the Internet. Some are extremely alarming, others have no basis and many are based on the Prophecies of the Great Traditions. All of them point out the prophetical times, as the Wise Chi Mam Maya, Don Pascual liked to call them.
All this information has wakened the interest of millions of people, but it has also created a lot of confusion and fear, since the date of December 21 of 2012 has been used as the date of the end of the World.
However, this date points out the beginning of a new cycle, which is marked in the tradition of the Mayan Elders as a time of harmony and spiritual growing, this cycle is called the FIFTH SUN and each of the previous ones lasted 5,200 years.

The first cycle was of a feminine energy and fire was the element that ruled it.

The second cycle was of a masculine energy and earth was the element that ruled it.

The third cycle was of a feminine energy and air was the element that ruled it.

The fourth cycle was of a masculine energy and water was the element that ruled it.

The fifth cycle is of harmony between the masculine and feminine energy and the element that will rule it will be ether’.


The path of the Sun & Serpent Maya Mysteries School has been, and continues to follow the Universal Spiritual teachings. It is not about 'one calendar' or 'another calendar' and whether the end of this cycle is the winter solstice 2012 or as Carl Calleman postulates October 28th 2011.
It's the spiritual work that we do on ourselves, and with each other that is important - all the time there is breath in our lungs and love in our hearts.
‘God moves in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform...’ and so it might well be that whatever is planned for humanity over the next few years does not require any more 'organizing' and 'brain power' other than just to be with unconditional love in our hearts until the very moment we each cease to be 'in our physical form'.
Step out of the ‘business’ (or more precisely busyness) of life for a moment! Here we are… with unparalleled awareness concerning life, death, care for our planet, destruction and its consequences, climate change resulting from our inappropriate activity, yet we collectively at any rate allow our suicidal act to continue. What is the point of education? What is the Great Lie we are not acknowledging to our children? What will they say to us when the realization hits them that it is too late!
So much has been revealed to us (society generally prefers to regard it as resulting from human research; anthropological, archeological, astrological research, testing and breaking new ground to understand our origins, push back boundaries,contesting Darwinism). These revelations are coming from a greater intelligence with a plan for humanity. All this it seems, at least to a great extent, hinging on the last 500 years of our Western civilization. And this within this time scale of 5,200 year Mayan calendar ‘Age’ – apparently since Neolithic man walked the Earth. This period of 5,200 years is the current Fourth Maya Age or Creation, shortly to become the Fifth.
May I ask, you as well to focus on what has occurred over greater cycles of time. It is said that the coming time will begin the Fifth Age. With the fourth just ending, this stands us at four fifths of the way through to a complete 26,000 year cycle.

Five times 5,200 years makes the 26,000 year cycle. This is called one Platonic year which is also a cycle of 12 signs of the zodiac – sometimes referred to as ‘Ages’. From this Platonic time span can we imagine the complete Zodiac round to have happened 12 times before? Twelve times twelve experiences of human consciousness in one form or another, even so amounts to a mere third of a million years of human consciousness.. However there are discoveries of human origins dating more than One million years.! All that accumulated consciousness is locked into the Akashic Record of Mother Earth - and this is precisely what we, (who are awakening), are drawing on right now! Consciousness that is emerging as distant memories, past life experience and more…Memories from the previous great civilizations that ended in destruction simply because ‘we’ chose not to listen and learn then.
We are awakening to the doorway of Ancient Collective Consciousness, accumulated and timed precisely for release at this time because the window of opportunity to evolve into higher beings living in peace and harmony is open right now. If the evolution to a new form, Homo Spiritus, does not take place in these coming years, then those of us who are far sighted must leave the planet soon out of realistic choice, not as a threat to those who remain. The evidence is in the Akashic Record, the record of all consciousness – of human, animal, plants and rock / crystal. We only have to read it for ourselves.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

DROPPIN SILLY BITCHES.

so last night was Cinco De Mayo...of course drunk mutha fuckas were in FULL STRIDE. i go check my homie ELEMENT at Dos Gringos...that place was so stupid packed, we pull up, park...and commence to the spizzot (marq & i). there was a line a mile long to get into that piece. luckily..."I KNOW THE DJ."

walked right to the front & rolled in. first off, i'd like to point out...i would NEVER WAIT IN A LINE THAT LONG FOR THAT PLACE...and secondly...WOULD NEVER...MUCH LESS...PAY TO GET UP IN THERE.

so we get in and i had $2 coronas. the music, of course was good---but everything else, was WACK. well...i'm sure it wasn't for most people there...like 99.9% of them...but for me--not my steeeez...and since this is my blog. hehe. white boys were "bboying" in circles, but they were more like doing the lilth fair/mosh dance. lol. it was hilarious to watch. people left & right were tryna "request" their favorite RAP songs. *shaking head* so tajsh calls me around 11-11.30, she went to first fridays..literally WENT b/c she shortly LEFT to meet us. she couldn't get in b/c the spot was so packed at max cap---so i decide, yea, imma bounce with her. decided that real quick---i'm sure she woulda hated it just as much as i did.

btw...if you didn't know, tempe dos gringos sells more coronas than ANY OTHER establishment in the NATION--(lol...or at least that's what i hear). but i'm sure last night coulda competed with that beeest of them. all the drunk ass people in that spot. element actually played to the PARKING LOT. they closed off their regular parking lot and made it an extension of the club party area. there were mad fucken drunk ass people there. we left marq at dos...he was more interested in the folks...*ahem* girls...he could meet there.

we go to BLUE. and it was cool...always love to be around my peoples. got to hear HOW FUCKEN DOPE OSUNLADE WAS...and also be reminded...that...EVERYONE....but my ass...was there. *sigh*

suck.

so FAST FORWARD TO THE END OF THE NIGHT.

why there gotta be a STUPID ASS DRUNK ASS NATIVE CHIC that trys to start some SHIT WITH ME??!

first off...for those of you who were there last night, and KNOW her...or...bitch...YOU ARE READING THIS?? know that last night your little guardian angel was working OVERTIME to protect your stupid ass. and my little ANGEL on my shoulder was lookin out for yo ass too.

this stupid bitch REALLY doesn't know she was saved from a quite ugly end to her drunk ass night. the silly hoe started out---all up in my business, catching every word i said while i was on the phone...and then grew BALLS by trying to pull a "I GOT CLOUT" card on ME...while i'm STILL on the phone...she was like a fucken parrot and couldn't say ANYTHING else...repeated to me---while looking PAST ME...you know how DRUNK ASS PEOPLE STARE...can't focus straight with a silly ass smile on her NOT SO PRETTY face, "i reserved this room...this is my room...i reserved this room" i GUESS to CHECK ME(??!)...and make me leave the area i was standing in...tajsh was right next to me & saw it all go down. when tajsh realized this bitch was tryna start shit with me...she acted REAL quick to try to diffuse & get me outta there...b/c SHE KNOWS...i could tear that bitch a new asshole.

but lets just logically think about this. first off! this stupid bitch...yo, it was 2am. the club was closing, i reiterate stupid. secondly...the silly hoe, really didn't know who she was fucking with---if i really wanted, i woulda dropped her ugly drunk ass to the floor, and it woulda been NO THANG. however, me & fighting is a baaaaad idea...b/c i probably woulda came at her with full built up anger force, and it would NOT be pretty for her. i have noooo business fighting, b/c i am a WHOLE OTHER UGLY JECKYLL BEING in that state of mind, she just DON'T know and niether did anyone else there, except tajsh. third...she REALLY DIDN'T know who she was fucking with...b/c most of those people in that place, INCLUDING THE DJs & night PROMOTER...are MY friends...i coulda just watched her instigating ass be directed to the door.

but again. it was 2am...and the bitch was a drunk fool...and she was not in her right mind to know who she was tryna step to. i showed much maturity & walked away from that stupid situation b/c it----SHE----in the end, was really not worth my attention or energy. if it were an earlier time in my life, she wouldn't have been so lucky.

she should count her blessings tho & realize i saved 1 of her lives that night. jealously is an ugly thang...if you're out there...i'm sorry you're just not me, but don't get it twisted & let the pretty exterior fool you. don't fuck with the wrong person next time...i may be cute...but when it comes to picking a fight with me, i get REAL ugly, real fast. at the core of me YOU WILL NOT FIND A PRISSY GIRL. my brothers can attest that it's never THEM you have to worry about..it's ME, they KNOW they never have to worry about taking care of me, i have always held my own...i'm my fathers daughter & came into this world WIRED to fight. it's actually my anger that i've been working to contain in my mature years...so please...don't push my button. WRONG button to push, REAL WRONG.

so to the stupid bitch last night who wanted to start shit...with me?? next time you want to grow balls & step to someone...make sure it's not someone who's gonna be as cool as me, in spite of the fact i could have easily put your ass in check...yo ass is just asking to get busted the fuck up.

word to of the wise, take my advice: back off the liquor---stay in your right mind. b/c your mouth is gonna start some shit YOUR ASS won't be able to finish.

"alcohol is a hellava drug"

i did my good deed for the month. save a silly bitch and/or drunk hoe, and show mercy. 1, g

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

that thing called love...

"love"

this weekend i went to ABQ. a love (of 7 years) resides there---exactly a year ago, i had to break it off, however. i wasn't good to him...didn't treat him/shower him...with the love i know he deserved. and it wasn't fair to him, or to me. i know it hurt him immensely. he wanted to take the next step with me...marriage, family.

i felt all of a sudden my world was imploding...caving in all around me.

i know he's a great man. a REAL GOOD MAN...and for a long time i didn't have a reason to leave, so i stayed...he's everything a woman wanted in a man..."WE" were everything people dream of in a relationship. both intelligent, attractive, fun individually---& great fun together, noone ever felt 3rd wheelish around us, real laid back, cool...i had so many friends who wanted that perfect relationship, and looked at ours as that picture of perfection.

but truth was...it wasn't. i wasn't. i know i'm far from perfect (i'm perfect in my imperfections). i think & somehow...i still wonder...will i EVER be? not perfect...but the relationship type? i know i am capable of loving, but will i ever be capable of commitment? cuz love...it just isn't enough when it comes to relationships. the only time love can be enough is with your children...

i've always known that being a mother would be in my future, but being a WIFE? a companion?? i always thought as a child, marriage would never happen for me...and even if it did...my idea of the union would be so far fucken off---who would WANT that.

this past weekend, i wanted to see my ex...touch base with him, talk to him...see how he was, what's new in his life...but he didn't call and i'm not all that surprised. for a minute, i did imagine, "what if he's with another woman?" could he have moved on with the "rest of his life" with her?? he's not getting any younger, i know...but i know he doesn't settle either...but then again...maybe he will. who knows. i don't. at that instant of imagining those things, i felt as though i had lost a bit in me...b/c for the first time since i left----i could be real with myself & say that, i've let go. when i thought about how my reactions were to "what if he's with another woman?" to be honest...i did feel a slight pain in my heart...temporarily, which is completely expected...but after that slight initial stab....i felt nothing. i got over it.

now...the "nothing" i felt....could absolutely & easily (i admit) be attributed to this perfected talent in me...my defense mechanism that has made me the strong, mentally tough, person i am today----simply stated: i let go easy. i move on...easy. i shut things out....easy. i close things out of my heart & mind..SO EASY..it's uncanny. it's something that knowing me...HE knew i was capable & probable of doing...it's something he feared i would do, to him...forget him...shut him out...leave him from my heart & mind...up until now...i haven't. i haven't out of the massive respect for him & what we had, shared...what we have, which is very much...very special. i do admire, respect & love him, still...but when it all comes down to it...i live for me. and if protecting ME means...i let go of him...then that's what will be the inevitable.

up until now, i always felt that apart of me...still held on just a bit in my heart to him & the idea of forever after, with him----perhaps one day i would be ready to accept such a great person into my life & love him like he deserved....but it's been a year, and i can't. i can't accept him...i can't accept, anyone.

so i'm left to ponder...will i ever?

will anyone ever understand...me.

i'm inspired outta confusion & pain to write a piece...tonight. g

Monday, May 01, 2006

Gatherings...

so...this weekend i got to miss alotta shit I WOULD HAVE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to be home for. so what's the big deal, huh? well, for 1---it NEVER FAILS...Everytime there is shit i WOULD REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY want to do...there's always gotta be 2 things (i WOULD REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY want to do), in 2 different geographical places goin on at the same damn time, same damn day.

this weekend...like many i have had, was no exception.

Friday at home...OSUNLADE came into town...as i was leaving...town, new mexico bound...DAMMIT. i got texts all hours of the night, 2-3-4-5-6-7AM about how fucken dope it was...DAMMIT man!

it was also a "fetch" FINAL FRIDAY @WETPAINT...featuring a film debut: QUALITY OF LIFE

(lmao @myself for saying "fetch")


Saturday, Xango, my angola instructor---brought a special guest to Phoenix from NY, Zumbi, for a capoeira angola show...this is probably what i missed most. all weekend long i thought about playing and wanted to be apart of this...so much so, i called Xango Sunday morning to see how the show went...I ended up singing to them over the phone (the only song i could remember off the top o my head)---only to be cut off by the beeping of the LOW BATTERY indicator on the celly. I didn't bring my charger on this trip...stupid of me. i felt so bad about cutting such an important conversation off. double DAMMIT.

SUNDAY...i missed the RETURN OF KILL GRILL, at cheez, tims & runamuk's new crib. Saucy i'm sure was reppin the culinary skillzz as she alway do... good times with good food & my good friends...DAMMIT i missed it! DAMMMITTT! 3 times!!

.

*sigh*

...okay...so, not to discredit the weekend i did choose at all...!

i did get to do a little photography & PR work for Mary Kim & Native Youth Magazine...always a pleasure loaning my service to my much respected mentor & role model..MKT. I got to do a little of my own G gospel as well as meet a lot of people who I have seen & have seen me, but i have not yet been able to meet me 1 on 1. I thought it was quite cool people approached me all weekend long (who recognized me from various things i dip into) to introduce & chat with me...to all those people who were brave enough to come at me & shake my hand...& even give me their music :-) THANK YOU!! not enough people do that & take that opportunity...(cuz i hear they're intimidated by me)...but now was it that bad?? did i bite at all?? :-)

so, yea, back to the weekend...I was at the zoo a bit...breeze calls it the circus...aka, Gathering of Nations Powwow, during the day & evening. I also checked the huge bball tourney (158 friggin teams or something entered!) that was goin on all weekend, 2 friends played; chancey & mark--they're teams did good! btw. Late night I got to check out and support a few parties; Friday with those familiar boys of URBANINJUN.COM @ Coliseum & Saturday to CIB @ Primary Blends (seriously...did anybody besides me notice it smelled like straight up stank ass & feet up in that primary blends spot??!)

Got to meet & finally kick it with a few mad cool peeps; the artist extraordinare miss LEX, the lovely dj Divine...of course my girl D-Bizzle & that crazy canad-indian Chancey, Johnny, Dj Abel, Daybi & the french connection, SHAN Dog & mini me, Ego, Alyssa, the Frejo's, Yvette, Silver, Eyerock, urbaninjun crew--wreck/jaidee/azchief, rezdog, allan greyeyes, kieth...oh wow...now that i'm starting to list everyone i'm beginning to forget!! crazy how many peeps i was in good company with ...well, dammit, i'm sorry if i forget you...but u know who you are :-)

we'll let the few pix speak for themselves. *wink.

peace be, i am that crossroads fool, G!

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